Editing The Wickedictionary (section)

==U==
'''UFO:''' ''n.''  a result of the known irrational characteristics of terrestrial intelligence than of the unknown rational efforts of extra-terrestrial intelligence.<ref>Richard Feynman</ref>

'''Ugliness:''' ''n.'' 1. a gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility. <ref>Ambrose Bierce, ''The Devil's Dictionary'' (1911)</ref>

'''Ugliness:''' ''n.'' 2. is the guardian of women. <ref>Traditional Hebrew adage</ref>

'''Uncertainty:''' ''n.'' is the thing that makes knowledge interesting.<ref>Derek Abbott, 2010</ref>

'''Unemployed:''' ''n.'' between jobs.

'''Uniqueness:''' ''n.'' a quality that is not unique itself as everyone has it.<ref>Derek Abbott, 2010</ref>

'''United States of America:''' ''n.'' 1. a land founded in 1776 on the principles of life, liberty, and the reckless pursuit of happiness at any cost—even life and liberty. America is a place where even the poorest immigrant can, through hard work and dedication, achieve the American Dream for his employer. Where children are the most important exploitable natural resource. America is a land of equality for all, and special, better equality for some. A nation where any determined individual can climb to the top of the corporate ladder and kick it down so that nobody else can. Where a man can go from rags to riches almost overnight, and from riches back to rags in even less time, then write a book about it, option the rights to a TV network or film studio, and blow all that money on drugs.<ref>Adapted from The Onion</ref>

'''United States of America:''' ''n.'' 2. a country that celebrates its liberty by freeing its citizens from the imposition of a universal health-care system.<ref>Derek Abbott, 2010</ref>

'''Universal:''' ''n.'' does not fit anything properly.

'''Universalist:''' ''n.'' one who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.<ref>Ambrose Bierce</ref>

'''Universe:''' ''n.'' one of God's practical jokes.

'''University:''' ''n.'' is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.<ref>John Ciardi</ref>

'''University management:''' ''n.'' a group of failed academics.<ref>Contributed specially for ''The Wickedictionary'' by Derek Abbott, 2010</ref>

'''Urinal:''' ''n.'' the one place where all men are peers.<ref>Rick Bayan</ref> 

'''Use:''' ''n.'' that which everything has; even uselessness itself.

'''User friendly:''' ''n.'' of or pertaining to any feature, device or concept that makes perfect sense to a programmer. 

'''Ultimatum:''' ''n.'' in diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions. <ref>Ambrose Bierce, ''The Devil's Dictionary'' (1911)</ref>